Pawned Stars Hockey Club 3-31-16

Great game last night by the Pawned Stars as they revoke the Canada Thistle passports to redemption!! When asked for a recap of the teams performance, El Capitan R.J. Lange-Bang said, “I am really impressed with our performance as a whole. There is no “I” in “Team”, but there IS “Meat” and we really stuck it to those friggin Canucks. Our Defense played solid, our offense played strong, our goalie… well, he played. Even our healthy scratch, Jason Hilbert, performed confidently as a moral-booster and line coach! It seems like such a shame that we “showed up late” to the league this session.” It appears as though RJ was in good spirits despite the sour taste in his mouth about playoffs…

Your Beer League “3 Mugs of the Game” last night are as follows: One Mug split 11 ways (its okay, we all share) for every player of the Pawned Stars, Second Mug to Kelsey McMahon of the Canda Thistle for having the only set of balls in the McMahon Family and showing up for her game against the Pawned Stars, and Third Mug to Thistle Net-Minder Brad “Quick” Foster who, after getting lit up like a Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve in Rockefeller Plaza, stopped EVERY shot in the Second and Third periods last night including the 4 shots that literally crossed the goal line yet werent counted.

A special “Thank You” to our amazing referees last night who almost caught a glimpse of the game they were supposed to be reffing. Offsides?? Nope. Icing? Nope. Goal?? Nope. Too Many Men on the Ice?? Yep, they saw that one!! Can we please get an optometrist/meth dealer to sponsor the stripes crew?? Seems like they may need a new set of spectacles and a pick-me-up!! In all seriousness, we have a difficult time playing 9:45pm games all week long too and we appreciate the fact that you refs even show up!!

Stay tuned as the longest B-League in history continues to drag us forward into playing a second consolation game at 9:45pm (or later) this next week just to continue our march AWAY from Last Place!

Shout Out to Pawned Stars sponsor ‪‎Whiskey Gap Distillery‬ for the Orchard Runner shots last night. “If you arent drinking from the Whiskey Gap, then you’re prolly drinking from the wrong hole.”